Today I am going to be positive. I am going to smile and I am going to pretend like nothing is wrong.
I suppose I should try and remember that it could always be worse. I have a very healthy and active 6 year old, a great job, great co-workers, and I’m alive.
Somehow it is hard to think that way when all you are really concentrating on is that little bundle of life that you don’t have at home. That little bundle of life that is sitting in someone else’s home.
I sent an email on April 15th to the Adoptive Mom - well, actually to L - because I send one on the 15th of every month because that’s when he was born. This time, I kept it straight to the point since I have not responded to her last email. I refuse to let my feelings for her get in the way of corresponding with my son. I am praying that at least down the road, they can start to come to terms with the open adoption because I don’t think they really have a good grasp on that. I wished him Happy 5 Month’s Birthday, and told him how much I love him and think about him every second of the day. I did not address anything about our email exchange or cancelled visit.
So that’s it for today - everyone have a great day and try to stay positive as well, because it could always be worse!